By Harriet Dawson
The assignment was to investigate if there are differences between male and female groups of poker players. I took the assignment…for absolutely no pay, I might add, because, quite frankly, I thought the answer was a resounding “DUH!”
Yes, it seemed like a simple enough task until I discovered there are over 100 types of poker games that even the experts can’t agree on the various categories of games, and then you add “mixed” and you have a foreign language that sent me home from the poker nights with staggering headaches.
But I must admit, I was intrigued…not to the point of wanting to play (oh no!) but intrigued by their reasons for playing and if indeed there were differences in their reasons for playing.
Here’s what I learned from the men:
This men’s group at RWC was formed on May 5, 2015. Gerald Hoskins knows this to be a fact because that was the day he came to RWC and he wanted to play poker. Today, four of the original group still reside at RWC: Bill Wright (considered to be the “founder,”) Don Grabar, Hoskins, and John Roberts. Three of these continue to play today.
When playing, the men are intense. Very little horse playing and little to no trash talking! (This was a shock! In fact, I was so shocked I asked Bob Woods to observe a night of poker. I stayed by the door outside to note any differences…there was a bit more trash talking, but Bob and I both agreed, these men wanted to play poker!).
They play fast, as many as 50 to 60 games in a two and a half-hour period. Although with some games, members had to be reminded of the rules, I was amazed at how many games of poker the men knew and how well they knew the rules and procedures of each (with very few exceptions).
The men’s training for the game varied – one player learned the game as a child from his maternal grandmother while two others learned from their fathers’ poker groups when they were kids. Others learned from fraternity brothers or friends.
You don’t get rich playing poker. The men’s games are restricted to nickel, dime, and quarter bets with a three-raise max. The men use chips to represent the coins. The most money ever won at a game (as recorded by the seven men interviewed for this article) was $26.
Each man takes a turn identifying the game to be played. If you select the game, you deal the cards. Each man also takes a turn at shuffling the cards. It’s all very organized. There is a “facilitator” for lack of a better word, who keeps the bets flowing with terms like check/pass, or bid and he can occasionally be heard saying, “Thank you, Edna.” (I explored that comment as far as I felt comfortable and it has something to do with luck and Edna fronting the funds!)
Favorite games include Five Card Stud, Seven Card Stud, High Low, Declare, Low Chicago, Follow the Queen, and least favorites also include Five-Card Stud, Six Card No Wild, and Dead Man.
After hours of observing these six or seven men playing “poker” for several Wednesday nights, and without meaning to be, I was impressed by these men and these games. I’m still not sure if they are playing because of a love of the cards or because they enjoy getting together as a social group. They certainly all seem to like each other, but I think they really enjoy the game!
What I learned from the women:
The women meet once a month and have on a regular basis since 2014. They came together as lady golfers from Piankatank. They are not an RWC group, but RWC resident, Carol Sennott, loves the game and allowed this editor to interview members of her women’s poker group. The women rotate from home to home and always have a meal if not a party. They have played as far away as Myrtle Beach and most women interviewed declared that was the most interesting place they ever played. (Could be another story lurking here!)
The components of the women’s games are pretty much like the men’s….they use chips instead of coins representing nickel, dime and quarter bets. The women won more money per game (interesting!) with one lady winning $31.50 in one game! They too play an impressive number of games within their schedule…30 to 40 per get together.
The women also do “dealer’s” choice and tend to use “wild cards.” Their favorite games include Guts, Baseball, and Follow the Queen. Least favorite games include Pass the Trash, Indian, and “whenever I lose!” My interview notes also reference a “Screw Your Neighbor” game but I could not decide if that was a favorite or a least favorite!!
These women are creative in their stories, and in their “identification” as the “Poker Divas.” They registered themselves as the Poker Divas in the annual Urbanna Christmas parade…of course there was a bit of a misunderstanding. This was realized when they were asked if they had their own music when dancing the “polka!!”
These women travel together, dine together, support one another and take great pride in their long-term relationships and their love of poker. All learned the game from friends, and all loved the addition of the “wild cards”…they may still use “cheat sheets” but most feel confident in their knowledge of the games they play and the ability to learn new games.
In summary, “poker” offers games for everyone. Played usually with at least four players, both the men and women have played with as many as seven. The stories of the women revolve around this close-knit group formed in 2014. The men reflect upon stories experienced with other groups and travels across the country playing at business meetings in Chicago, as an employee at Yosemite National Park, and the Elks Club in Oxnard, California.
The women reference one another as the most interesting people with whom they have ever played while the men reference the father of a US Senator, and friends from other locations. However, Don Grabar got a shout out as being the most interesting player at RWC…way to go Don!
Both the men and women say it’s the people and the cards that bring them to the table. From this editor’s perspective for the men, it’s more about the game and for the women, it’s more about the people. Although one lady did say, “you can’t win unless you get the cards”…and she’s the one who won $31.50!
And on that note, “I’m out!”
One more thought: Carol Sennott would welcome the opportunity to help a group of women start a poker group at RWC…just give her a call!
Reprinted with permission of Our Neighborhoods.