Grandparents And Grandchildren Reading Book On Garden Seat
As retirement approaches, many older adults consider relocating to be closer to their grandchildren. This decision can offer emotional fulfillment and strengthen family bonds. However, it’s essential to weigh the benefits against potential challenges to determine if it’s the right choice for you.
Emotional and social benefits of time with grandchildren
We all know that grandparents often enjoy spending time with their grandchildren. The National Poll on Healthy Aging, based at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation, shows that 18% of grandparents see their grandchildren daily or almost every day, 23% see them at least once a week, and another 23% connect with them once or twice a month. The remainder report seeing their grandchildren only every few months or less.
But notably, further poll data published in 2024 found multifaceted benefits of grandparent-grandchild relationships. For example, 72% of grandparents say they rarely feel isolated. Compare that to just 62% of older adults without grandchildren who report rare feelings of isolation.
And what’s more, these intergenerational relationships can provide a sense of purpose and belonging. Such sentiments are vital for mental health, particularly in people’s later years, and can help stem feelings of depression and anxiety.
For instance, the poll found that grandparents who see their grandchildren less frequently (only every few months or less) are more likely to rate their mental health as fair or poor (13%). Among those who see their grandchildren once or twice a month, only 8% reported fair/poor mental health. For those who spend time with grandchildren at least once a week, just 4% said they struggle with their mental health.
And being involved in grandchildren’s lives — such as attending children’s events, playing outdoors with them, or participating in family outings — can have benefits beyond quality time. They can keep older adults more active, leading to improved cardiovascular health and increased energy levels.
Advantages for grandchildren as well
Make no mistake: The benefits of the grandparent-grandchild relationship can go both ways too. Children frequently enjoy a different type of familial relationship with grandparents than with their parents. Beyond the occasional spoiling, grandparents can nurture and teach children about patience, heritage and cultural traditions, and respect for their elders.
There are quantifiable benefits as well. Grandchildren who share a close relationship with their grandparents also tend to exhibit fewer emotional and behavioral issues. A 2008 study out of Oxford University involving over 1,500 English children aged 11 to 16 found that strong grandparent-grandchild bonds were associated with better adjustment and fewer difficulties with peers. These relationships also helped mitigate the adverse effects of common childhood experiences like parental breakups and even bullying.
And the perks of children spending time with their grandparents don’t stop there. They can offer a lifetime of rewards. A study conducted by sociologists at Boston College, for instance, found that people who had close, supportive relationships with their grandparents had lower levels of depression — a benefit that extended into the grandchild’s adulthood.
Furthermore, a 2023 survey of 1,500 adult grandchildren discovered that people are often more comfortable turning to grandparents for advice or as confidantes than their parents. “A lot of times, grandparents are able to provide more of a mentorship role for children without the day-to-day stress and responsibility of parenting,” says Sylvia Johnson, who oversaw the survey’s methodology. “Often, a child can go to a grandparent for advice without fear of disappointment or judgment that might come from a parent.”
Financial and emotional considerations of relocating near grandkids
With the many benefits of grandparents and grandchildren spending time together, it’s understandable that living close to one another is also advantageous. This is one reason that 58% of middle-class Americans identify spending more time with family and friends as a leading goal for their retirement, according to a report published in August 2024 (PDF) by the Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies.
More specifically, the opportunity to support and spend time with grandchildren is a particularly strong motivator for many older adults. In fact, AARP Grandparent Studies have found that around 80% of grandparents consider it important to live near their grandchildren.
For older adults who are still working and not yet retired, moving closer to grandchildren may simply not be feasible for several more years. But even for retirees with a strong commitment to family, the idea of relocating to be closer to loved ones can be daunting. Uprooting from familiar surroundings, long-standing routines, and close-knit social circles often involves both emotional and logistical challenges.
Relocation can also carry significant financial implications. Expenses related to selling a home, hiring movers, and settling in a new area can quickly accumulate. On the other hand, maintaining long-distance family ties through frequent travel can be costly as well. For many grandparents, however, the opportunity to foster deeper bonds with their grandchildren is considered priceless.
Personal identity and your role as grandparent
In addition to considering the financial and emotional aspects of moving to be closer to grandchildren, it is important to think about who you are as an individual. After all, your retirement years should be spent doing what you love and living in a place that makes you happy.
Each of us occupies a variety of roles in life, defined by our interests, relationships, and values. It’s helpful to reflect on how central your identity as a grandparent is to your overall sense of self. Do you envision a hands-on role in your grandchildren’s daily lives? Or are you more comfortable with occasional visits during holidays or family gatherings?
Being honest with yourself about your goals, preferences, and expectations can help guide your retirement plans. If you choose to relocate, it’s also important to maintain a sense of independence. Building a life in your new community — through volunteering, social groups, or part-time work — can help prevent over-reliance on your family for emotional and social fulfillment.
Navigating family dynamics
Before making a move, it’s also wise to have open, honest conversations with your adult children about your preferences … and theirs. While they may welcome the added support, the shift in family dynamics could also bring unresolved parent-child issues to the surface.
Keep in mind too that, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics’ 2022 Employment Characteristics of Families report, among married-couple families with children under age 6, nearly two out of three — 61.8% — had both parents employed. In such cases, having grandparents nearby can offer meaningful support, including childcare and transportation.
That said, establishing clear boundaries is essential — both for the grandparents and the parents. Tasks such as babysitting, attending school events, or driving to activities can be rewarding, but if expectations aren’t communicated upfront, grandparents may begin to feel taken for granted. Conversely, grandparents should be respectful of parents’ wishes with regard to rules and routines for their children. Clear, mutual agreements about responsibilities can help maintain healthy relationships.
Weighing the pros and cons of retiring near your grandchildren
As with any major life change, relocating to be near grandchildren during retirement can have its advantages and drawbacks. Making a personal pros and cons list can help clarify your unique priorities. For instance:
Potential pros of retiring near your adult children/grandchildren
- Opportunities to be involved in your grandchildren’s lives and to strengthen family bonds
- Ability to support your adult children with child-rearing responsibilities
- Easier access to help if you require caregiving in the future
- Potentially lower housing costs, depending on location
- Increased emotional support during major life changes such as the loss of a spouse
Potential cons of retiring near your adult children/grandchildren
- Emotional difficulty and financial cost of leaving a familiar community
- Pre-existing tension with your adult child may persist or worsen
- Adult children may relocate again for career reasons, requiring another move
- Geographic location may not suit your preferences or budget
- Risk of being over-relied upon for childcare responsibilities
- Disagreements with a partner who doesn’t share your relocation priorities
- Choosing one adult child’s location over another’s can create family friction
A senior living decision requiring careful consideration
In the past, families often lived close together, sharing responsibilities like raising children and caring for elders. Today, many adults move away for education, careers, or relationships, creating physical distance between generations. Still, the saying “it takes a village to raise a child” holds true, prompting some grandparents to consider relocating once grandchildren arrive. But is moving closer the right choice for you?
When evaluating your various senior living options, it’s essential to focus on what works best for you — this is your life after all (though you may also want to consider the input and needs of your family). For some older adults, this means prioritizing living close to their grandchildren. For other retirees, such proximity is not as essential to them and their families.
But there is also potential for middle ground. If relocating full-time to live closer to your grandchildren doesn’t feel like the right fit, consider if a more flexible option may meet your goals. Recurring visits, seasonal stays (especially during winter), or annual family vacations can foster family connections without necessitating a permanent move.
By myLifeSite|